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Disclaimer : Might break your heart. Please read with care.
18 January. 5 am.
“Didn’t sleep?”, I asked on sensing her discomfort.
“No,” she paused for a while.
“It was a long night”, she exclaimed as her voice broke.
After 6 years of togetherness, being around for each other in the ups and downs, it was all supposed to end that morning. She was to leave at 8 am and my train was at 11 am.
In past few months, the situations and mishaps in between, blurred out our ever-shining relationship. We needed a break, a desperate break from each other, which we both knew would be a final breakup.
Nonetheless, we both wanted to make the best of these 3 hours together, after all we were just parting ways, love was still intact and I could read her silence through her expressions.
“You need a hug?”, I asked.
“I’m making a drink, you need one?”
I got up from my bed, poured in some rum, slid the curtains. It was still dark and foggy. The roads had hardly anything moving, the leaves complimented the silence. With my fingers, I made 3 smileys on the glass, a smiling one, a numb one, a sad one and ticked below the sad one.
I picked up the glass, settled myself on the chair near the window and spread my legs on the table. I pulled out a cigarette to illuminate the darkness around and compliment the fog outside with smoke inside. Just before I was to light the cigarette, she pulled out the cigarette off my mouth and in her other hand, she had a glass moving in to and fro motion signalling me to fill in the glass.
She said, “no cigarettes, you promised.”
More than her words, I was lost in her beauty. They say it right, there is something with beauty and morning, girls are most beautiful in their early morning faces.
Brown eyes, a little tint of black in it. Pink lips, like an arrow. Dimple cheeks, like a kinder-joy. Untied hair, I can lose myself in it and that puppy face she made at times.
I filled in her glass. We cheered, “for breakup”. Silence was surrounding and glasses were filling. I didn’t even realize, when did she do that but the tick below the sad smiley was lost and a tick with a note “always” sat below the smiling smiley. She was a magician.
Soon, rum took over us and we looked at each other with music in the background. We both started laughing and in no time, her laughter changed to tears, she was crying. I never let her cry, how could I now?
I started cracking random jokes but she still cried. I got up and started dancing like a monkey. I made random faces, catching every beat (I believe) and doing all the funny steps I had in my dancing memory. She laughed. I laughed.
She got up from the chair and gave me a hug. She went to the cupboard and pulled out the scrapbook which she had made showing our 3 years of togetherness which she gifted me, rather us, on our 3rd anniversary.
She made me sit on the bed and flicked the pages, one by one. There we had, our first movie, second, 12th, 13th, all with tickets. Every place we met. Every bill of the food we had together. Every chocolate wrapper. Every song I sung for her. Every poem she read to me. Our complete journey. We smiled in between, we cried in between, we felt beautiful. We felt love.
It was 7 am. She asked me to stand-up. I stood and she pulled out a tie she held at her back. This was the tie she wanted me to wear during my interviews. She promised to teach me to tie a tie.
As I stood there, her hands curled around my neck with a peck on my cheeks. As she concentrated on the bow of the tie. I kept looking at her and couldn’t fathom myself for losing her. She kept looking at the bow and tears made its way out of her eyes, settling in her dimples. I leaned a bit and pecked her dimples to taste her tears.
She was done with the tie and as she looked into my eyes, I was taken a back. Those tears were genuine and I could feel them. I cried too. We wiped tears and hugged each other. That was the warmest hug I ever had. Emotions flew in between the miniscule vacuum we had in between. Everything flashed as her tears kissed my shoulders and mine kissing hers.
We both understood the silence. We both wanted to cry hard and say each other, “let’s just give another chance.”
In contrary, we faked, we smiled as we losened each other’s grasp and said, “soon.”
Yes, I cried. I cried with love, while making love, after making love.
Continuation— Part 10__
It’s a different story. 🙂