I know it’s a pretty late answer, but i would say it’s Min Yoongi.
Here are somethings i can show you on why he’s the answer to this question.
- “The Last” Song
In my point of, Yoongi is the only BTS member who shares his deepest secret a lot. Yes, i see some people may see him as a very closed person since he’s the least talkative member in BTS. However, if you pay more attention to his mixtapes, you can see how he throughfully opens up about himself. This is where i found my standing point to say that Yoongi is the answer to this question.
Let’s have a listen to it first.
When i listened to The Last, the first thing that came to my mind was that it’s the most explicit and emotional song i’ve ever heard. I barely found singers who explicitly talk about their darkest side of stories. Most of singers use methaphore when they want to show their deepest secrets. However Yoongi explicitly opens up about the dark side of his past in the song.
Let’s take a look at some parts of the lyrics.
I fall sometimes again into depression and compulsion
It was around 18 when my social phobia began
My parents came up the first time i went to the psychiatric,
They got counseling with me, they said they hardly knew me,
I don’t even know my own self,
So who can know me?
Friends? No, you? Whoever it is, they don’t know me
The doctor asked me
I unhesitatingly answerd that i’d been like that before
We can see how Yoongi tells us about his identity crisis and his struggles with depression and social anxiety.
I don’t know, but to me, the cencored part of the song give us a hint about the darkest thing he’d ever done, the worst issue he had back then, something I can’t say out loud but i think you guys have the same thought when you heard that part. And this is one of the fundamental reasons why i think Yoongi is the right answer to this question.
I know there’s clear difference between dark past and hardship. However, i found that these following things Yoongi had been through give a complementary ideas for me to think that he’d been through a lot. It were probably a part of Yoongi’s struggles with his dark past and happened at the dark phase of his life.
- Yoongi’s Financial Struggle
Before debuting with BTS, Yoongi had to struggled financially. I know that some of the members also had financial struggles back then, as far as i know it was Taehyung. But since i only know a few of each members’ financial struggle stories, i can only think that Yoongi’s struggle way more difficult than the others since he had to deal with his financial struggle by himself. He tried hard to earn money by selling his songs and did a part-time job as a delivery man.
(The following pictures below are not mine. All rights reserved to their respective owners)
This is something Yoongi told us about his financial struggle on BTS DNA Comback Show that broke my heart into pieces.
“Back then, i really suffered a lot, when i was 18, if i eat a meal i had no money to take the bus. If i ate a $2 Jjajjangmyun, i can’t take the bus home. Even if i sell my song, i didn’t get paid because i got ripped off.”
- Yoongi’s Car Accident
I’ve finally found out that Yoongi’s shoulder injury was the impact of his accident back then when he was a trainee.
It happened when he was delivering papers as a delivery man. He was struck by a car in a hit-and-run accident. However, since he was afraid that he would be cancelled as a trainee, he didn’t tell BigHit about it and lied that he was just fell down the stairs.
It hurt to know how he was worried to tell BigHit and had to cover up his pain so that he could kept pursue his dream. It even hurt me more to know that he had to endure the pain for years and was trying so hard to hide it to the point that we didn’t even notice his struggles with the pain in most of their shows.
- Parents Disapproval of Yoongi’s Career Plan in Music Industry
Unlike the rest of BTS members, he didn’t get full support from his parents to pursue his dream. Since career in the music industry was risky back then, he didn’t get full aproval and even had a fight with his parents.
I think we can see how hard it was for him to pursued his dream by himself without getting his parents’ full supports through this.
This was when Yoongi spotted his parents at BTS HYYH Epilogue Concert in 2016. (I can’t stop myself from cying everytime i see this picture. I even wrote this while crying. I’m sorry i got too emotional)
I can feel his happiness to know that his parents could finally see the final destination of risky road he took and showed their prides.
However, please keep in mind that my answer is not 100% correct since none of us know the whole story of each members’ pasts. We probably know only 5% of their stories. Some members may share more than the others. So i dropped my answer based on what i’ve learned from each members’ pasts that they’re willingly to share through related BTS’ publications (songs, movies, shows, interview, etc).
Yes, i personally think every BTS members have their own dark pasts or hardships to the least. I do believe that everyone does. It’s not something uncommon. It’s just the part of life.
But the past is in the past. I always tell myself not to be trapped in the past nor the future. I know it’s pretty hard sometimes. It’s even harder for some people. For anyone out there who’s struggling with your dark past, i hope you can get through it. I truly honestly pray for your happiness.
And if you heard the end part of The Last song, you can listen how Yoongi tells us that he’d been through it and that he’s okay now. I do really hope he’s truly happy now.
Thank you for reading and have a nice day everyone 💜