I am sorry this is so long and most likely all over the place due to the fact that I’m upset. I just believed sharing the whole story would help clarify my issue. Please be gentle. This is something I’m actually having a difficult time with. I’m sobbing as I’m typing this, thinking about how absurd I am since I am permitting myself to be so upset about it and also since I need to turn to a lot of total strangers on the web to try and feel better about it, considering that I feel like I don’t actually have anybody else to speak with. The important things that is troubling me is that I was married to my ex hubby for 10 years. He was not really great at all. He was abusive in lots of methods. I worked truly tough up until I got adequate cash to leave him. I was so scared, but was able to lease a truck and get a couple of pals to help me during the day while he was at work. I was more than fair and generally only took my individual things. Throughout our divorce, he lied to the courts about many things. I was accused of having an affair, taking money, etc. He tried to get custody of our boy too, however luckily that wasn’t a concern. He got the house, many of the lorries, a boat, a trailer, about 30-40 guns, $2,000 from our joint account, tools, farm equipment, etc My lawyer was a waste of cash that I truly didn’t have. He did refrain from doing anything for me at all. I had in fact typed up and submitted everything myself prior to I even got the lawyer, and he still didn’t do anything. He let everything tackle my ex lying, concealing cash, and not disclosing things that should’ve been shared with the courts. He told me basically I didn’t should have any of our properties because my ex had the house, with a home mortgage and he was handling that financial obligation. He actually had that debt before we got married … The attorney stated it didn’t matter. Your home was only an included since throughout our marital relationship, we had actually refinanced your house and my name was on the home mortgage (however the deed never ever got changed – foolish me). After I left, he let another family live in our house and they entirely trashed it. He and his new partner (that he married a month after our divorce was last, however I was allegedly unfaithful?) bought a home that expense two times as much as ours (due to the fact that she couldn’t reside in the house I lived in and he’s not even permitted to choose our boy up or drop him off, nor is he enabled to get his things out of my garage without her) and he really wasn’t paying the payments on ours and was destroying my credit. After talking with him, he said he was going to offer your home and then later I was able to talk him into letting me have the house, so I might get the kids out of the middle of town where all the druggies are. (We really weren’t in a good community at all and I fretted continuously.) The kids didn’t like that they had to change schools either, and wanted to go back to their house where they were comfy. Everybody was so excited that we were going to have the ability to go house and the kids might go back to the school they had gone to the majority of their lives. The deal with your house though – he wants $10 k by the end of December and I signed a contract to do this, though I’m rather going nuts now due to the fact that I originally believed I might do it, but now I do not understand how I will be able to swing it. When we moved into your house, there was two months worth of electric and water owed and both were turned off. Your house payment was 2 months behind and the bank was just a couple days from starting the foreclosure process. Nearly every wall in your house had holes, the heater and a/c was not attached, 4 windows had holes, and there was two years of property taxes due because he wasn’t paying them either. Though we enjoyed to be back where we were comfy, there was and still is a lot work to do. I utilized every penny I needed to give him $5k of the $10 k I had agreed to pay him, to get the utilities turned back on, and to catch up your home payment. I do not have enough to pay the taxes or my ex and I do not truly understand what I’m going to do. I have actually tried to talk him into providing me a better offer on the house, but he will not do it. He states that he and his brand-new spouse need to get their retirement stuff fixed because I think they both took loans out. Not my problem! I seem like I lost all of my good years on him. I don’t even have a retirement, because I had to take care of the 4 kids we had, while he worked and then ran around and done whatever he wanted to do, which generally included drinking and/or cheating on me. I have a bachelor’s degree that up until now has actually been a waste and I was likewise 2 classes shy of a masters degree at one point during our marital relationship, but I had actually ended up being so stressed out when I was with him that I could not maintain and was dismissed. I hate that I enabled him to mess whatever up in my life. I provided him excessive control due to the fact that I hesitated of him and felt I had no other choice. Anyhow, what truly troubles me is that he has currently messed up a lot and taken so much away from my kids and I and he still wants more! One year my kids practically didn’t have Christmas and a couple of times we were nearly homeless, but I am expected to catch everything up, make all these repairs, and still provide him money? There’s even been more problems at your home that has cost me more. Presently, half of my lawn is dug up and I might have to bust up my basement flooring to repair the pipes. A lot of our things are being destroyed too because he won’t get his stuff out of the way and our things has actually been sitting outside in the weather condition. It’s all a mess! So the offer is, I just can’t understand what I did to deserve everything? They can offer my house if the taxes aren’t caught up. I can’t even get the electrical in my name yet due to the fact that they desire a $500 deposit and I can’t do it. I just begin thinking about all of these things and get so upset about them. I often seem like I can’t relax myself down about it. I just wanted my kids to be happy and safe, which’s why I agreed to pay him for your house, however why does he should have to have all the assets we shared and I still need to provide him a lot more, AND eliminate myself to attempt to repair whatever? I know life isn’t reasonable. It’s all so upsetting for me and I don’t understand how to let it go. Often I can tell myself that I did this for the kids, I will make it through, and he can simply kiss my ass. Other times, it’s not so easy and it simply consumes at me so bad. Does anybody have any ideas for me to overcome this? I really don’t care what he’s doing now with anything else. I’m just so tired, I seem like an excellent portion of my life has been squandered, and I’m tired of him messing up everything. Why is he so unique and believes he should have a lot? Why did/do I need to go through a lot crap? I could likewise use some concepts to make some additional money!