I had episodes of depression off and on since I was age 15. I’m now 40, and I can honestly say that I have 100% beat depression and I will never succumb to it again. I have had many setbacks and highs and lows.
At first, it was affecting my family life and ability to stay in high school, so I got counseling. My therapist suggested I carry a healthy lunch like shelf stable nuts, instead of eating fast food, and so I began studying nutrition. I eventually became vegetarian and then plant based, into veganism as an adult. I declined to use drug therapy and did cognitive behaviorial talk therapy instead.
I now take a few supplements. The only prescription I take is a low dose hormone called LESSINA like the birth control pill to easy my PMS and period cramps. This helps me not miss work or school or the gym, and easier to get out of bed. I will take this for the next 5 years continuously, maybe 10, until menopause.
For me, it was a long battle of what I call “recessions” my depression was never so severe that I was bipolar or suicidal, or lasted longer than 1 year. A typical mini recession would look like me going to work just barely enough to scrape by and staying in bed to read the rest of the week.
I googled depression and found a phrase “depression is anger turned inward”
On facebook I saw a philosophy quote “depression is living in the past, anxiety is living in the future, living is the present is a gift”
I read alot of self help. Tony Robbins talked about finding hobbies and passions to distract yourself, and also exercise.
I have found my purpose in life, my joys, and I eliminate people who are negative, who are abusive, crazy, who insult me, put me down, call me names, who are toxic, who lie, cheat, ignore me, or are hostile – out of my social life. These people can make you sick. They are energy vampires, users and unhealthy. Don’t dwell on them.
I read Dr. Wayne Dyer and I am in control of how I react, I choose my emotions, and I choose happiness and peace, acceptance, tolerance, and high energy. I am curious and engaged in life, ambitious, and careful. I think I was a “late bloomer” to emotional stability.
I am open minded now to trying some drug support but I can’t say for certain of I will ever try an SSRI. I have to talk to doctors and this takes time to research. I might not need it. I take a baby aspirin and water, electrolytes. Depression can be increased with low thyroid so look for underlying medical conditions, anemia, and have a complete blood panel if possible. Rule out any physical reason.
For me, living and thriving means working on economic stability, budgeting, and managing credit. Low money adds to my anxiety.
I work part time, not full time. I go to college part time, I take it easy.
What is the opposite of depression? Mania? Wht is ideal? Balance.
Life is going to take you one day, we are not immortal. I want to enjoy every second I can, time is precious, and I don’t want to spend it yelling, crying, wallowing, feeling blue, hating my exes, thinking about dumb people who said things, – I want to sing, dance, play.
Instead of crying, I sing.
Instead of anger, I pray.
Instead of junk food, I eat brunch and supper and caffine.
I have a cat. She purrs alot. No matter how shitty my day is, my cat lays on my chest and all is right on the world.
Cat therapy, lol. But cats alone did not solve my issue. They help.
Life is hard ok, but it doesn’t have to be.
Keep a sense of humor, laughter is good medicine, have funny friends, and f*ck it, just have fun. Let go of anything you dont love or need and simplify your life. Lower your responsibility, say no more often, and free up time for what brings you satisfaction.
I have a really handsome love interest who still talks to me. I used to get sad about him if he would push me away. I am not co-dependent. I no longer seek external validation. I am enough. I am whole. I also go to yoga class.
I am back in college to study to be a teacher. I have no time for depression. I have zumba, and flowers, and the library, and a new car. There were times when I had no car.
My ex’s family likes to fight about money, even though his net worth is 600,000 and reposess my economy car every year. It’s stressful. We are working on putting it in only my name but I can’t afford the payment or the insurance without a job, but its hard to get a job without a car, so as of the last 2 days, I have no car. I am staying home for the weekend to tidy up and also, yesterday I put a car on hold at a dealership and have a co-signer on standby and was approved to drive for Uber and Lyft, to pay for it. So, in 1 week I will have a car no mater what. Make it happen. I asked him to just pay it off and sign it over to me as a gift. I had it for 2 years and he paid it, well I paid it with his money, always on time. He is not that great of a partner and his family is mean, so I can’t marry him. They are all co-ependent and hostile and controlling. I’d rater walk than deal with drama. I keep myself good company. I don’t beat myself up. I am not disguisting. I am worth it. I deserve it. I am worthy of his support. I care for his health and wellness also. We are “just friends” but honestly, I want him out of my life completely because they are rude, impatient, demeaning, and neglectful. We never were more than friends. He doesn’t want to marry me or empower me, he closed my 2 major credit cards and lowered my score. He is disfunctional and I have to let that go. He bought an expensive house and the family is stressed about the maintenance on it. Why get into bad deals? Keep life simple. No kids, no drama, no obligations. You can’t eliminate all the bills. Life costs money. I moved on, and am dating someone completely different now.
Count your blessings, be thankful. Be grateful. Make a list of your daily accomplishments. You are something special to someone.
You are needed and loved, valued, priceless.
It is ok to admit you are sad, depressed, but not okay to let your life fall apart. I was so depressed, I stopped cleaning. I was so depressed, if I was overwhealmed in exhaustion or frustration, late at night, if my family was pushing me, I would have a lightening flash of suicidal idealization. I needed a good nite sleep and water, and in the morning the storm was over. They fight me. I was so depressed, I couldn’t pay my rent or mortgage for 10 years, age 30 to 40, on my own.
Don’t wait to get help. These things won’t just go away on their own in time. When was my ah ha moment, um, it’s hard. I mean sometimes I sleep for 2 days straight, immobilized. That is once a year. I guess, I just, made a conscious decision to be happy no matter what. Ok, homeless, I will be ok, happy, broke, i will be happy, hungry, i will be happy, you are yelling at me, i will be happy, obviously, I was abused in my past.
That is not to say I was happy with bruises and cuts and black eyes, no I was not. But some things heal, some don’t. I had a spine injury. I started to think after 4 years it would not heal. I kept trying physical therapies, and i found a method that helped. My pain is half as bad as it used to be, so I am keeping that up. No matter how bad your problems are, it can get better, and never give up hope, and there are solutions, and there is always someone worse off than you.
My cousin just passed away from a long battle fighting cancer for a decade. She gave a good fight, was a becon of light. She was never depressed. God bless her heart. I’m over here, like, still pissed off from things 20 years ago, that I can’t let go. Let that sh’t go, and be happy.
“Don’t worry, be happy” – Bobby McFerrin.
No matter what, please don’t commit suicide and if you have thought for so long as to your preferred method of going, definately call a hotline a crisis line. Death with dignity should be a basic human right, but it is not yet. I am an organ donor. So, I thought of 2 ways I would end my life. 1, anorexia, I would necome underweight, and then stay home, fasting for 2 weeks or 1 month, in bed until I fell asleep and can’t wake up. 2, swim out as far into the ocean until I am too tired to swim back, and waves take me under.
What I do now, I eat fruit by the pool and I don’t put my face under.
The water is heling, it lifts any aches and pains, and eating natural foods in nature is relaxing, hydrating. I actually want to live as long as possible. Look, I am struck by lightening of anxiety and despair about once a year, I just want to scream and pass out. It lasts about 2 seconds. I ususally just say, ok, I am faigued, I need to rest my eyes.
Tomorrow will be fun, there will be an adventure and a butterfly on my porch. I will call my boyfriend. I will apply for that cool job in the morning. Its all gonna work out. And I want to donate my body to science and not destroy it.
Depression is no joke. It can ruin your life. The rainstorm will come. You have a roof, a shelter, to protect you. Your mental roof is self esteem and worth. You are needed. That job needs your talent.
Get up and go take life by the hands and make stuff happen. Be assertive. Ask for help. Make your needs known. Don’t hide.
Take a shower at the gym if you have to. I started back slowly, lost 15 pounds. I was so depressend in 2015, I gained 60 pounds in 1 year, eating 4 times a day the same drive thru. It gave me stretchmarks and grey hair. Don’t let yourself go. MAINTAIN
I am in recovery every day. I don’t drink alchohol or smoke anything. I am sober. I like clarity. I prefer low dose, iced down caffine drinks. In moderation.
I go to the library because that forces me to get up early, take a shower, wash clothes, brush my teeth, and sit, and breathe, in a clean space, and I have the internet to apply for something.
Do what you have to do. You don’t need anyone else. But it’s okay to ask for help. People do care. They will be happy to serve you. Amass your army. Find your tribe, your crew. They will buy you a car, a house, an education, food, clothes, anything, just ask. Or do it all yourself. Step 1. Step 2. Step 3. Make a plan. Stick to and work your plan. Stay focused. Set goals.
We live in abundance. It’s all for you.
Everyone has to deal with loss. You are not the 1st or the last.
It is ok to just sit and think, just be. Just don’t send yourself negative messages. Like “why do I bother trying, I always fail anyway” don’t give up and let go. Keep trying. Resist gravity. Gravity wants to eat you. The world wants to consume you. Your will has to be strong.
You have to want to live. Find what you are living for.
To be honest, I live to serve a man. And I am a feminist. Celibacy is good, love is good. Part of my healing right now, is staying single.
I date, but I don’t become consumed. I am detached.
Life is beautiful. People can be cruel. I live with empathy, compassion, and also I put my needs 1st. I need to get well.
I had a few nervous breakdowns when people online called me “fat” and “you need to loose weight” etc. They fat shame me. It’s just fat, people, it is not contageous or cancer, I can always burn it off later. Mind your own body and business. The opinions of others do not matter to me. I do not subscribe to your standards of beauty. But yes, my weight fluxuates. So. I have a range. Short hair long hair, i am still me. Age 20 or 50, i am still me. My soul is good. I am a happy person. I love life. You can’t rob that. Nobody can take that from me, I have had a good life. I am creative. They try to dim my light. I am radiant. I radiate peace and love. I was not depressed, I was lost.
So, I took a year off work. Yes, my mother had to get out of retirement and go back to work. I’m almost ready to join life again. I “checked out” to “find myself” and it worked. My rehab, was a messy starter house. I have to clean it. It gives me something easy to do. No stress, no body judging me. No boss looking over my shoulder. Peaceful. Quiet, my sanctuary. But I will be moving in 5 years, I want a fresh start with no bad memories to trigger me.
Everyone deals with trauma. You can heal.
“Without you, without you my love, the sun is still shining on, and on, and on, and on, an on” – KomediAnne
Don’t be sad, there is a butterfly on that tree you planted and the animals need you. 🙂
Honestly, my cat saved my life, because she is dependent on me.
We are 1. Not 2 souls. We are 1 family. She deserves a healthy Mommy. She is 8 years old, and when she met me, I had no power on at my apartment, I didn’t want the hums of motors and electro magnetic fields. My episodes, are embarassing to admit, but I am not alone.
It takes alot of courage not to delete this answer.
I know as many as 1,000 people can read this.
Some of you are searching for answers to major life problems, abuse, neglect, and you are suffering in shame and silence.
From the outside I was maybe normal enough, pretty girl, long hair, thin, college educated, decent car, a condo, but there were major cracks in my foundation. Eventually the cracks will show. You will snap. We can only handle so much. Something has to give.
You will get wrinkles, life is constant change. You will mess up.
Nobody is perfect, just smile. Don’t allow anyone to hurt you.
If your significant other is injuring you, get help. Move in with family or a friend, anything. As a child my father beat me with a belt. I finally told my mom that I never wanted to go back there at age 12. I never told her why. So as an adult, I attracted and tolerated partners that were abusive, because that was my normal. I ended up in a hospital, my face split open. I have a scar on my forehead.
Healing from PTSD is not just for a military war veterine. It can be from an idiot you dated for a few years that almost killed you. And relationship counseling was not enough for us. I had to go NO CONTACT. Depression is not always just your fault, that you should be stronger, that you did this to yourself, or deserved it. People punish others harshly.
Date rape, I also fell asleep at a neighbors and woke up to being date raped. I didn’t “ask for it”. Unconscious is not consent.
Look, shit happens. But, you have to take time out to heal properly, don’t just stuff it, bury it. Face it. Admit it.
I was robbed twice. Ok. A lifetime of small traumas that don’t heal, is a breaking point. My snap came in 2014.
I broke up from a guy, who was manipulative, and just snapped.
My life spiraled down into a secret, dark year long depression.
I am out of it here in 2017, only because, look, I make 3 phone calls, and I have a car delivered to my driveway. I know my potential, and I have a house paid, a car paid, groceries paid, power paid, my phone paid, and I don’t sleep with anyone to get it. I ask. Now, I want to work, I will, I do. I just need a few days to clean up. And Monday, I will apply for a new job, not a part time one, a full time one.
I channel my energy into positive not negative. I will be ok.
I’m happy. I have a handsome boyfriend, a nice house, a new car, good friends, yeah im broker than hell. But I wont be for long. Depression is temporary. It is the construction dust. Crystalis.
Pressure makes diamonds