Can stress and anxiety eliminate you?

  • Yes.

    I believe so, though not straight. I can’t state much about anxiety attack and all of that as I’m not a medical professional. I can inform you about a method I believe anxiety can eliminate people cause I have actually been through it: suicide.

    Read if you’re interested enough, I’m sorry if it’s dull, however here’s my story and what led me to that conclusion:

    I have actually been bullied a lot in intermediate school and the majority of it wasn’t physical violence, so even though I see it as a 4 years long problem, it ended up. High school was way much better for me and I actually believed I was over harassment and all that, even though I kept on being sort of separated and fearful.

    I was constantly really distressed however in high school, it was more about social anxiety (due to my background, obviously). I was very shy and I might worry really quickly for absolutely nothing, however as I had excellent grades and two excellent good friends, it was “okay”. My stress and anxiety wasn’t consuming me alive.

    But then, I went into university (I’m a law student) and things changed. My stress and anxiety grew, quietly but certainly, month after month. For the very first time ever, I had to be stressed about work (I utilized to have excellent grades without any efforts, which isn’t actually possible any longer at university).

    I had it under control till one day (and what I will state might sound really dumb to you, however eh, it’s the reality): when David Bowie passed away. He was (and still is) my idol and it set off whatever. It wasn’t immediate, strangely enough, I was awfully sad when it happened however managed to have an excellent summer season and kept my grades up.

    I just entirely lost control around September. That’s when my stress and anxiety took control of. I ended up being depressed, irritable and very aggressive towards my mother: I was nervous every time we remained in the exact same space and I hated her for no reason (I quietly hated everybody, you understand, like that man in The catcher in the Rye). I could not work anymore because I kept on stressing over the fact that I needed to work more. I was stuck. My grades decreased together with my mood. I felt bad all the time, even with my good friends, though I did whatever to make them think I was alright. It worked, nearly no one saw how nervous I was (couple of people did, a few of those extremely delicate ones, I guess).

    I was sobbing and stressing at the same time alone in my bed in the evening, in silence so that my mum would not discover. I was awakening in the middle of the night, thinking of death. I was spending all my time on my phone cause any other activity was too stressful (I stopped checking out, I would not head out and believed “that’s all right I’m an introvert”).

    I reached the worst back in January. It was the anniversary of the death of my idol (the one who made me think alienation was alright), it was the time of my tests, which I believed I had failed. One day, driving house from university, I wept all the method house and believed “If there isn’t anybody near the cliff, I’m jumping” (there’s a cliff near my house). And I was determined, I desired it to end, and I’m informing you, it wasn’t depression, it was anxiety. My heart was pounding in my chest and my ideas would not leave me alone. Fortunately enough, there were lots of people near the cliff on that day and as I have social anxiety, I was too scared to stop the vehicle. I kept on believing about that cliff. A couple of days after that, I attempted to hang myself, I gazed at the belt for one hour and a half without moving (actually), simply internally panicking. I did put it around my neck a couple of times however as I began choking (I didn’t leap or anything), I got frightened by the idea of death and stopped on time.

    I kept on thinking about death and it was only me, myself and I. Often I ‘d make suicide jokes with my good friends and they were thinking, indeed, that it was a joke. How I wanted somebody would have taken it seriously.

    Then my mum, who didn’t know whatever but definitely knew something was going on, informed me “you’ve got to pick, to eliminate or quit, to live or die”. So I chose to live. I went to a psychiatrist, believing “whatever, nothing to loose”. God that was the right option. She right away informed me about anxiety (I understood what it was however everything was so blurred in my head), she put in the time to tell my about the symptoms and informed me that despite the fact that I was going through as depressive phase, the important things with me was stress and anxiety.

    She provided me medications, which I was terrified about, we talked, and now everything has altered. I’m scared of the medications, I fear that I may go back to my previous state and that it’s simply a short-lived release however I do not believe so. It’s not even strong, what she provided me, it’s simply things versus stress and anxiety. I’m no zombie like I thought I might become. It’s a blessing.

    As seen from now, I think that the death of my idol the tension of university triggered something that had actually been inside me considering that intermediate school, something I thought was long gone. I feel extremely much better now and ideally this is completion of the story.

    All of that to say, I’m 100%sure that stress and anxiety can eliminate you. You can make an impulsive option, just as soon as, due to the fact that you can’t take it anymore. Stress and anxiety is like a little demon inside you, I will not leave you alone and it comes back when you’re alone or do not expect it.

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